We are all human. And therefore we judge. How could we not be? Isn't our society "judgmental"? from a very young age we are exposed to constant judgments. You "should have" done this, you "shouldn't have done that" etc etc. These "should" and "shouldn't" are almost always judgments. Due to the fact that we have been hearing such judgments since childhood, this has become a habit with most of us. It is also in part a matter of convenience: short form labels that we put on things - rather than taking the time out to spell what we mean.
But there is one thing we should understand. Sometimes these judgments are necessary. I call them "evaluations". Unless you are graded in school, how will you finish your schooling??? The assessment done by your boss is to ensure that you are doing your job correctly. You also, of course, have to evaluate whether your relationships are satisfying, positive and healthy. Would you call these as "judgmental"
My own evaluation of one of my colleagues had helped both of us. All my colleagues had whispered in my ear not to have any financial dealings with a certain staff as he never returned any money. After a few months, the same staff approached me in the middle of the night requesting for Rs. 500/- (I am talking of 1993 when this was a big amount). I read pain in his eyes and face. Without asking any questions I gave him more than he asked for. Next day all my colleagues were laughing at my "foolishness". Next month on pay day, this staff come to me and in front of all my colleagues, returns all the money and thanked me umpteen times. Till to-date both of us are good friends.
Being judgmental usually ends in emotional pain for us. In case you notice your pain increase, like anger, frustration, resentment, just sit back and tune into your thoughts that have likely triggered these pains.
How do we change our judgmental thinking?
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